When you’re growing a bean inside of you, it’s hard not to think about how you’re going to make sure they’re taken care of, educated, healthy, happy and financially sound. You sit and wonder if you’re making the right choices, if you are ready and if you’re capable.
It’s quite a life changing experience. During my pregnancy my new found love for my life and myself started to grow even more with the knowing I was about to bring someone into the world whom I was responsible for. Who do I want my baby to look up to? What do I want my baby to see? What kind of mother do I want to be?
I made my choice, and it was hard. I wanted to be there, I wanted to be the one who took care of him all day, played with him, taught him, and was the role model he deserves. I wanted him to see someone who was living a life they loved, not working to live or never home to play. I could not work 10 hours a day, I could not work mid shifts. I needed to be with him.
I used to be very selfish, very self absorbed and pessimistic. Meeting Brad and having his light in my life changed all of that. He’s spiritual, smart, kind and has the most beautiful soul I’ve ever come into contact with. He helped me find my inner peace and continues to help me stay on a more positive path. He taught me that life wasn’t about my job, the money I made or my material possessions because when you stripped that all away I was a lost soul. I thank him daily for his contribution in my life. I’m beyond grateful. For the first time in my life, I don’t only think of myself.
Becoming pregnant also encouraged me to be more positive. I want my son to smile at the world and it’s beauty, not tear apart it’s flaws and hate them. Not to focus on the negativity and hatred in the world but to see them as the darkness that we all must face and redirect. I want him to know he CAN be anything and DO anything he wants, all it takes is the will and the guts to try.
The first part of making sure this happens was to start with myself. I had to be that person. I had to be able to lead by example. I can not stress enough how important personal development in your life is. Self help, positive thinking, spiritual or knowledge building, it doesn’t matter what you want to start with, just start. Books, audio or videos, whatever works best in your life, I love reading but sometimes with the baby, I don’t get to. Podcasts and books on tape have saved my life when in these moments. When going to bed at night I read. When I have data, I watch some videos, or periscope. You have to find what works best in your life. It just takes 10 minutes or 10 pages a day to start you in the right direction.
Personal development is also how I learned how to bring into this world, a life.
**If you’re reading these, I really hope you’re getting the repetition of it all. START doing what you want, START trying new things, you can only say it wasn’t right for you, but at least you gave it a shot.**