Naturally we went to a gynecologist when we found out we were pregnant, I had the same one since I was 16, so it only made senses to go there. However, I was turned off by the practice from seeing a birth that I thought the doctor had rushed and made seem very business like. I was very uncomfortable with it so I even told the interviewing midwife I did not want him attending my birth. She couldn’t guarantee it but also didn’t believe that anyone in their practice would act that way. “Perception is Reality” this is something anyone in business should understand, it doesn’t matter what you’re trying to do or portray, it’s what others see that is reality. Some people will probably debate this, but I’m not talking about your personal life, unless that’s your business. YOUR life is yours, if you’re working at a place of business you are representing your company. REGARDLESS if you like it or not, you are. THUS what your patrons see, that’s the reality they take back. So if your business is struggling, take a step back and look from a different point of view, you may be completely surprised what people are seeing. (I have a lot of passion for this stuff lol)
After that visit we went back two more times, and the second called for the last. On the second I had a scheduled ultrasound, it’s exciting and nerve racking all at the same time for a new mom. However, it was very uncomfortable. The doctor came in, sat down and got right to it. Now someone who’s never had one before, THIS IS WEIRD. It’s like having an alien probe and look for your baby. So without any small talk, I felt violated.
Needless to say I planned on moving on anyway but my husband and I decided during our research that a natural home birth was what we wanted. So we set out to find a midwife, which is actually quite hard and extensive work, especially in the middle of nowhere. Know that each state has it’s own laws, so please make sure you’re aware of them and also RESEARCH the person, there is differences between a midwife and a CNM(certified nurse midwife) make sure they have references and credentials. Make sure to check if they accept insurance, and if so, yours. If you don’t do insurance, that’s fine make sure they have reasonable rates you can afford.
I sent handfuls of emails to numerous midwives around the state to find one that met my criteria, would work in my area and was credible. After a few weeks, we found one Mary M, we felt had the best of all the above.
So we set up an appointment, which was very relaxed, comfortable and AT HOME! We found our midwife. We were more than excited so we continued to research and learn about having a successful natural childbirth, that way we were more prepared for what would come in 7 months.
On our next appointment we cancelled our service with the practice and they of course had to put their 2 cents in because, now they’re not getting paid and pretty much told me that if I ended up in the hospital they worked in, without being their patient, I’m not as important. So very glad we made our decision.
OF course they weren’t the only ones with an opinion or need to say things. “What happens if something goes wrong?” “Are you sure you really want to do this?” “Do you really think this is the best decision?” ” Aren’t you worried about something going wrong?” ” You know it’s going to hurt”
If you know anyone who has made the decision to have a natural birth, pleaste let me tell you, this is extremely disrespectful and annoying. I’ve never asked anyone who was giving birth so many questions on their
decision or wanted them to doubt their decision. SERIOUSLY. Our society wants us to believe we need a hospital to give birth, lets face it, women have been doing this LONG before hospitals and it’s what we were built for.
As I’ve stated before I’ll say it again, I RESEARCH EVERYTHING. I made the decision after reading books on the subject of birth. First was the womanly art of breastfeeding whic
h I wasn’t reading for birth tips but after reading it, it was clear what was the best avenue for my baby. Ina May Gaskin’s Guide to Childbirth is also an amazing read but this was after I had made my decision, it has a compilation of REAL stories about giving a natural birth, it’s raw and not sugar-coated. It also goes through the stages of birth.
I knew before I went into labor I needed to be calm, relaxed and clear my mind. This takes time to prepare for, and thank goodness I started at 2 months pregnant.It is so much more than deciding WHERE and HOW you give birth, it is an understanding of your body, how it works, how to ride the waves of stages, how to stay focused on your task and know YOU DO NOT NEED MEDICATION. I won’t preach, but I will state that I learned it’s all a mind-set. You have to put yourself in the right place and learn to do it. You can not let a single negative thought be in your mind, so my advice is to make sure you want this and start preparing as soon as possible. If you make the decision later and don’t prepare, you will have pain, discomfort and be overwhelmed with the waves.
You must mentally prep yourself for something your body does naturally but you have not. Each stage is different, epic and comes with certain feelings. If you are not ready they will take you by surprise and that’s when we feel fear. The Bradley Method is also a great book to read on how to have a natural birth. Whether or not you’re married, this is a fantastic book to educate yourself on how to prepare and get through a natural birth.
I must admit it was hard to cast out all negativity and focus on the positive. However I told myself, I AM having a home birth, and when people asked about it, I just informed them and then moved on. I NEVER thought I would be going to a hospital nor the need for one. I never packed a hospital bag. (I had a home birth bin). This is what made me cast out ALL doubt.
When you have doubts about the outcome of something, you’re not focusing all your energy on what you want to see happen. THAT is how I make things happen. I focus all energy on the outcome I want, I don’t allow naysayers or negativity to bring me down. I may get off track but I firmly put myself back in place.
Another big thing is to make sure you are active, you want to stay as active as you were BEFORE you got pregnant, while you’re pregnant, make sure not to over exert yourself. This plays a huge part in making sure we are ready for the birth of our child. The more your body is in shape the more it can work the way it was intended.
I don’t say this to impress anyone, I just want to press upon you the POWER you hold with in you and what you can do when preparing for a natural birth.