December 8th Thoughts.

Everyday I look at my son and gaze in wonder at his beauty. At his innocence and his perfection.

I still can’t believe I helped make this amazing being. I housed him inside my body for 10 months. I pushed him into this world.

Now, everyday I see his brain taking everything in. Every movement, sound and object. Everything we take for granted I watch him try to understand in whatever way he can.

I’ve watched him go from a limp noodle to a strong wanderer.

It’s December 8th and yesterday he turned 7 months old. I can’t really wrap my brain around all that he’s taught me and that I continue to learn from being a mother but I do know that these last 7 months have been the most amazing of my entire 26 years.

I slow down everyday and tell myself “take it in, this is fleeting” “calm down, he feels your anxiety”

The craziest things have come from being a mom, I no longer have negative feelings, because I don’t want my son to. I no longer talk negatively, because I don’t want my son to. I no longer fear new things, because I don’t want my son to.

I am so excited to raise this little human. I can’t wait for each milestone. I can’t wait for each smile to get more teeth(he now has one), I can’t wait for him to finally crawl the right direction, for him to take steps without mommy’s hands.

I know I’ll miss all of these things, but I know it’s  inevitable, so I am taking each day to help him learn, grow and conquer new things.

He leads the way, and I follow. His journey has just begun in the world, and I’m so glad I get to be a part of it.

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Adjusting to a new life has been quite interesting and sometimes overwhelming but as I look at what I’ve gained, it’s quite clear it’s going in the right direction.

In July of this year I decided to leave my job as a restaurant General Manager, a job I had worked very hard for 8 1/2 years to acquire. I climbed the proverbial corporate ladder. I loved my job in the restaurant business, I miss it occasionally, however hard the decision may have been; it was the best for myself and my family.

Making a huge change like that, was not easy. I started as a 16-year-old hostess in one location(2006), worked in every category in that store up to Assistant Manager and then transferred twice to end up in the store where I trained(2012). This store was my favorite and the busiest. Probably part of the reason it was my favorite, I worked under one of the most amazing mentors I’ve ever had and enjoyed learning as much as I could on how to successfully run a restaurant. After 6 months I got promoted to Assistant General Manager(2012) and then 9 months(7/2013)  later to General Manager but was transferred to another location. There’s a huge story in there that maybe I’ll discuss at another time but with that being said all by the age of 24 I had gotten to the top of where I had started. As a General Manager I turned one store around and then was transferred to another, then the third and final was the store I had loved and wanted to be in.

Unfortunately, changes had already started and my love for my job was no longer my first love. I fell in love for what I believe really was the first time with someone, and it took over my entire world. I didn’t want to work, I wanted to be with him. But I told that story already.

I’ve been on a personal journey for the last 7 months that led to leaving my job and focusing on finding myself again, without my job. It’s been a rough transition sometimes but I’m so glad I took it.

I can say each day has become more and more beautiful, easier and I’ve finally let go of the past I once thought defined me.

I have learned and I am so excited for each new day.

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