It’s so important to love yourself so that you can truly be happy. You have to know you CAN change and those who say you can’t are just too weak or scared to try. Or they’ve been hurt and use it as a reason to hold on to the pain.
You are beautiful, you are strong, you are worthy, you are a mother fucking gift to this planet. The world has one and ONLY ONE of you, so why not let it have the BEST you?
It’s so easy to say to love yourself, or say you need to love yourself and I’m guilty of it as well, so I’d like to go over how I started to REALLY love myself.
I gained confidence when I lost a lot of weight as a teenager and got attention from people where I never got any before, but this confidence wasn’t love. I still hated every part of me and didn’t really feel great unless I was being told I was attractive or skinny.
It became a vicious cycle that went into my adult life and though I felt better the older I got, I still struggled deeply with self love. I still hated my reflection and could never muster a smile unless it was for a selfie with make up! I barely even smiled because I hated my teeth.
I spent years building false self love and because of it I attracted a ton of negativity into my life. I became an alcoholic and eventually gained weight back because I chose to stop working out and believed that was okay (it was for about a year) but like anyone else who’s not born thin and with a super metabolism, it caught up to me.
Left with the worst health of my life and a 30lb weight gain I was determined not to let this be my life. I knew I was better and smarter than I was being. I knew I wasn’t going to be a quitter and let this be how I continued.
Now I’d like to say with that all things changed but I didn’t want to quit smoking nor drinking and I was still relying on an unhealthy relationship for companionship.
I’ve broken down a lot of my past in previous posts but for this I’d like to explain each step I took so you can see, it’s a hard, long journey but it’s the most rewarding thing you can do for yourself.
So I started with the health part, sure I knew quitting drinking and smoking would be IDEAL but I wasn’t ready so I knew I wouldn’t do it, so I focused on what I COULD change, my eating and physical activity. I had already had to cut back on drinking due to the ulcer and I wasn’t ready to just quit every bad habit.
I bought an at home workout because, well I didn’t have time to go to the gym and it would be pointless for me to pretend I’d make it a priority, I knew if I had it at home, I had no excuse not to find 30 minutes to do it.
Hardest part of this was my want to resort to my old ways of excess work outs and calorie restriction to lose weight. However I decided I was going to do it the right way because it had a money back guarantee and if it didn’t work I’d send it back. Plus it was only 3 weeks.
So I got my package, read the booklets and found out how much I needed to eat daily (which scared the willies out of me, it was more calories than I had eaten in 8 years) But it said try to eat it all so if I was full I didn’t HAVE to eat all the food! Plus it had containers to portion the food for me so I knew how much of each food group I should be eating.
I got started and had to set timers on my phone for when to eat because typically I didn’t eat until lunch time or later and it said to eat every 2-4 hrs, with work I’d push it as far as I could and if I couldn’t get a meal I had a quick snack(a few baby carrots, crackers or a fruit depending on the time). This helped me gain my metabolism back and I found I was starting to get hungry again!
I did the whole program and ended up losing ALL the weight I gained! I was shocked. I couldn’t believe how well it worked and how good I looked and felt. With my confidence restored I couldn’t help but want to shout from the
rooftops that I was finally healthy. I was eating more than ever AND losing weight! I had more energy and this was ideal because I had to quit drinking a ton of caffeine when I found out I had an ulcer 2 months prior.
During this time I was involved in a ton of groups on Facebook that were dedicated to people on their journeys and it was so inspiring and motivating to see others’ transformations! I loved the community of uplifting positive people and wanted to be apart of it! So I contacted my coach and asked how I could be more involved.
She led me to a team page and I took off from there.
So the next step in my self love journey? Not hating everyone and everything. I was pretty negative, after years of being used and hurt I shut down in my teen years and became cold to others so that I could protect myself (at least on the outside). My significant other at the time was also very negative which made it easy to continue the streak.
I however was ready to change and wanted them to also become a better version of themselves. After being ridiculed and told I was being stupid, I decided to do it on my own.
I learned that all my negativity over the years was why I had only negative things around me.
I knew I needed to work on me.
I dove into personal development and started feeling more positive and wanting to SHARE my good vibes! Now this was probably the hardest part next to eating because I had programmed myself to NOT let people know how I felt and let them in, but I knew I needed to change all the things I was doing if I wanted to be better, because they were part of why I was where I was.
I then had to daily make these habits, which was hard and didn’t happen immediately. I took baby steps and made it a point to make the effort daily no matter what it was that I was changing. I would fail and feel defeated but I knew this is what I want so I will never stop making myself better.
Now, these are the steps that STARTED my journey, the point of me sharing was so you can see that it takes STARTING in the right direction to start loving yourself. If you allow the negativity to continue and you don’t do anything to fix it, you will never start and in turn never succeed at truly loving yourself.
It’s been 2 years since my journey started and today I can finally say, I love myself, I love who I’ve become and how I’ve let go of negativity and the hatred in my heart.
I’m a year and some off of tobacco and months clean of drinking. I’m on my way to being the healthiest me yet.
I love not living in fear of others’ thoughts of me. I love not caring about what others are doing. I love allowing myself to take criticism. I love allowing myself to meet new people. I love allowing new opportunities into my life. I love helping others find this love. I love not being perfect or striving for perfection.
I am a mom, a wife, an artist, a Full-time RVer and a fitness/lifestyle coach.
I am on a mission to live my best life and pay it forward to others by helping them reach their health, fitness and financial goals.